My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
