Whod you bang
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
