I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
