I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
