She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
