dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
