with your own penis?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize