You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
