And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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