i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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