So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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