dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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