Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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