WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
