i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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