my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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