just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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