my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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