whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
