I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
