Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
