apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
