dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
