I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize