We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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