how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
