I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
