I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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