my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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