I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize