she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
