Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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