I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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