margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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