I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
