your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
