we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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