I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
