So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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