I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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