he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
