I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
