can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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