Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
