Tell her she can't have a vagina
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
