is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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