If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
