The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need moral support for this bender
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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