I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
