Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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