you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
