im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
