If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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