Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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