He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
