I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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