So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
