I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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