Sry I called you an 8
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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