umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
